The Art of Gyaan Batowing!

"Dude i was Omw to college, when i saw that Silky fucha getting totally bajaod in the bus for trying a breast-stroke on some BTM chick from Gargi rofl!"
"Lol he'z such a lend. Haha(Both Laugh)"

Ever heard a similar conversation and had half the words fly over your head? Well chances of you having a deja vu are pretty high, if you've just made the transition from the comforts of your AC school bus and your healthy snack serving, fully furnished, wooden floored, A/c school canteen to every college students nightmare, the DTC and some roadside Chai serving panwaadi.

Welcome to the colourful world of delhi college types, where class no longer divides people but radness does, where people spend hours slacking off with their buds, trying to find out new words to cuss each other with and where you find kids in all sorts of small little cliques, from the Hippie rockers and Psi Heads to the wannabe photographers,Cinema lovers and writers and then the rest of the university oddballs; nerds, theatre-types, activists, and so on.

However, inspite of the diversity that you will see around yourself, there is one thing that unites them all, the colorful vernacular of these delhi colleges. Everyone uses the same slangs as others, more or less.. slangs that were inherited from a mix of Dosco's(Doon School Boys), Stoner Comedy Flicks(Cheech and Chong series, the big lebowski, dude wheres my car and the pineapple express), anglicized versions of desi words and the international hippie culture in general. Now if you are tired of being the guy/gal whose left clueless at the end of a joke that cracks up everyone else gathered around you, or if you happen to be out of the ones who laugh at every other joke but fail to understand any, do Not Sweat Yo, help is at hand (TWINK).

Here are a few words that'll make the next three years of your stay in college one smooth ride. Hahaha(Wicked Laugh)

1.Starting off with some of the most obvious and most heard terms

Univ: stands for University.
Res: means college hostels or some time is used for kids who reside in them.
Soc: stands for society.
OMW: stands for "On My Way."
Amma: refers to the hostel warden.
DRAMCHI: means a Drama Queen.
Fucha: A Fresher, a newbie, a sophomore in college is called a fucha.
CATing: Someone whose preparing for CAT, is known to be CATing.

Over to the more creative and complicated ones

2.Bajaod: to get screamed at by an authoritative figure or to get stoned.

"Dude i got totally Bajaod by sheila in the MLS lecture today." OR "what on earth did you put in that brownie dude? i got totally bajaod."

3.Silky: Boys/Men who always(often) hang out with girls and engage in their silky or girly talks. Should not be confused with someone, with a girly touch to himself(example-Bobby Darling).

"Dude quit being so silky and get a life."

4.Breast-Stroke: It is one step above eve teasing and one below rape and means exactly what its called. Girls and Boys(in rare occasions)who choose to travel by public modes of transport are often victims of this shameful act, that delhi metro and DTC's are famous for.
(Refer to the first line of the article for usage.)

5.BTM: stands for "Behenji Turned Mod" and it means exactly what it says. Girls who suddenly take to fashion in hopes of aping someone they admire in college or outside, hoping to get everyone's attention and who fail miserably in their attempt at doing so.

"Your Girlfriend is such a Classic case of a BTM. I mean what sup with that put on accent.lol"

6.Lovely/Lovelies: This was a recent addition i suppose and is used for all the Punjabi's living in Delhi  The inspiration was the recent advertisement of a Punjab based university that has been airing on the channels since a while.

Mallu: 'What is this Lovely Professional University dude? What it turns everyone Lovely?'
Gujju: 'No it teaches all the "lovelies" how to become professionals dude(laughing).'

7. Stifler: Inspired from the popular adult comedy film series "american pie". Stifler is a character in the film, who is known for his desperation and who always stares and gawks at the ladies around him, and tries to woo them by hook or crook. This word has since, replaced the other popular synonyms like player,boner and Cc and is used for boys/men with a wandering eye.

8. Lend: A poser, a wannabe, a brown noser, a fake individual, who pretends to be something he/she is not. Easily distinguishable by his/her clothes and his/her personality. Can be seen wearing the most uncomfortable, out of fashion clothes(extremely tight pants, deep neck body fitting t shirts and pointed
formal shoes for boys and blingy clothes ,shoes and handbags and over the top make-up for girls) and talking in the most grammatically wrong, heavily accented(a put on accent that is) English.

"Her boyfriend is such a lend."

9. BT: British telecom would be surprised to know that BT was the most used term in Indian campuses recently. However, the term used in campuses have nothing
in common with the telecom giants. BT in campuses simply mean 'bad trip'.

"Dude the music in the party gave me such a BT. It sucked balls."

10.PMS or PMSing: PMS stands for 'pre menstrual syndrome'. It refers to that time of the month when men are supposed to be wary of the fury of their
girlfriends and wives that can hit them at any time, any place, without any prior notice. PMSing is when someone is undergoing the situation.

"Dont annoy her with your stupid jokes dude,shez PMSing".

11. Wassab: Inspired from the desi pronounciation of the anglicized 'whatsup' which simply means what's happening. Wassab however has another meaning to it. It usually refers to how much a person has a say in the matters of a particular area. Can be heard a lot in the JNU campus, especially in the canteens where, boys try to brag about their 'res' and how much they have a say in matters related to their 'res'.

"Dude, apne res me apni badi wassab hai re. You are welcome, anytime."

12. Like: A Californication that you add on as much as possible wherever possible.
“I was..like..so totally…like…fried…and like…he was like…totally taking my case…and like….”

13. Fried/zapped/Spaced Out/Zoned Out: Simply means stoned.

"Dude i was so zoned out, i didnt realise when she left."

14. Morrison: A guy who has long hair like Jim Morrison. Usually used as a cat-call.
“Oye! Morrison!”

15. Munchies: Feeling hungry,often as a result of smoking pot.
“Dude. I have the munchies.”

Some other overused ones include
BMW: BADE MUMME WAALI
CC: Choot Chaat refers to desperate boys who can go to any extent to get laid.
Doobie: means a joint or a jay.
Fag: calling someone a fag means calling him/her a homo. Asking for a fag means asking for a smoke.

Alright, so these were a couple out of the zillion terms that are used in the day to day life in a campus.However, due to space constraints and explicitness of the content i had to stop at 15, but feel free to follow me on twitter @ucancallmeish, if you want me to shower more Gyaan on you and enlighten
you on some other crazy topics related to the campus. Over n Out. Peace!

Urban Tales of Hunger: ANAND The Saviour

So it was another saturday afternoon and i was sitting at home, lazing around in my pyjamas, binging on some milkmaid left in the fridge when an over enthused foodie friend of mine called up. I could feel excitement dripping from his tone and somewhere in the back of my head i knew the reason behind his call. the call started with the usual "howdy's" and "whattup's" and all the swearing. 5 minutes into the conversation , the talk shifted straight to our most favourite topic. Food.

We both were hungry and out of options.We both had to go for work in the evening. The only viable option was picking something on our way to work. Those were the days when we both were interns at Hindustan Times and the timings werent a major problem, thanks to our "cool as ice" boss. We both got out of our lazpants, changed to a pair of cheenos and chappals and left for work.

Now the HT building is surounded by a number of small food outlets serving chili potatos and samosa chaat,but we werent in a mood for the usual knickknacks. I had to call up a friend from my food trip group for ideas.

Cut to the restaurant
We crossed the road and took the first right from scindia house. After coming across a few restaurants, we saw a couple of guys soaking boneless pieces of chicken in some heavenly smelling gravy filled with some out of the  world spices. The board outside read "Anand" and boasted of specialising in biryani.

We entered the place which looked a little shady at first with the dim lights and the torn cusions. The place was filled with a couple of guides with some goras who seemed to be thouroughly enjoying the food in front of them. We looked at the menu and without taking any time, we placed an order for a plate of chicken and mutton biryani, which the restaurant boasts about being one of  the finest in Delhi. The service was quick and within 10-12 minutes of placing the order we had our food in front of us.

Now this is the part where i am going to get into the details. The moment the food arrived there was an aroma in the air, which is unexplainable. It was a sweet smell at first mixed with the aroma of the desi ghee in which it was prepared. I took a good five minutes to just get over the smell of that heavenly biryani. The portion wasnt huge but wasnt too small either. I tried both the chicken and the mutton variants of the biryani. The minute i took a spoonful of the rice, it simply melted into my mouth. Now you as a reader might be thinking, that rice melting in my mouth is just me blabbering and exaggerating about my experience, but there is no other way in which i can explain how amazing that first spoonful was.

Food melting in my mouth was something i had never experienced before. I almost felt like i had just discovered a sixth sense in my body. A sense that was meant to just taste all the wonderful flavours that existed around me. i had almost forgotten about work. Now the flavour of the biryani was so different from what i had tasted till now.and for just a mere 120 bucks the biryani was a steal.
Anand is definetely one of the finest biryani makers in Delhi and with the price it comes for, it sure comes in the top 5.

Now what happened in between was that my foodie friend whom i had called for help, was working on his weekly food blog and Anand was one of the restaurants he had decided to praise. With the kind of food they serve, i am sure there are another million blogs coming on them. Go Anand!